|
By the A.M. Costa Rica staff
Expats worry about Hugo Chávez and his military ambitions,
particularly if they result in operations in Central America. The bad
news is that Chávez is rattling his sabers at the eastern border
of Colombia, and some fear a full-scale Latin American war.
The good news is that Costa Rica, despite not having an army, is
prepared to repel any kind of military aggression.
The first major problem an invading force from the south will meet are
striking Panamanian truckers. Periodically the main southern access
route is blocked by unhappy drivers. Sometimes they are joined by the
Tico brethren.
Even if the truckers are on vacation, there still is the matter of
crossing the boarder. Anyone who has taken the bus north from
Panamá knows of the interminable delays at Costa Rican customs
and immigration. Just imagine trying to get a whole bunch of invaders
and their tanks across the border. How many stamps is that?
But the real secret weapon are the country's roads.
|
Some think that
the central government has just been neglectful with
the nation's roads. Actually the state of the highways is a
secret |
plan
to bog down invaders so that the United Nations can thrown paper at
them.
|
Consider the case of a 46-ton AMX-30 battle tank trying to
navigate
the Interamerican highway. Passenger cars have a hard enough time. The
tanks
|
will just fall off
into the jungle.
Then there is the problem of fuel. Some South Americans are used to
subsidized 10-cent a gallon motor fuel. Will the military commanders
bring
|
their credit cards to keep the troops moving on $4 a gallon Costa
Rican fuel?
Even after surmounting these defensive obstacles and avoiding disaster
from wild Costa Rican motorists on the crowded autopistas, the
aggressor force will face the reality of a country without street
addresses.
Where the heck is Casa Presidencial anyway?
Even a modern military force is not prepared for the local sneak
thieves. Invading troops will wake up without their pants, their
wallets and their tanks reduced to skeletons, thanks to ladrones and
scrap metal crooks.
And if all else fails, the invading troops have to face the
well-outfitted, professional commando force based at the Hotel Del Rey.
|