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An A.M. Costa Rica reprint
First published March 5, 2008

A.M. Costa Rica Page One
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Contents copyrighted 2008 by Consultantes Río Colorado S.A. (cédula juridica 3-101-290-170).  Republication without permission is prohibited under U.S. and Costa Rican laws and international conventions.


Costa Rica's secret plan to repel any invaders
By the A.M. Costa Rica staff

Expats worry about Hugo Chávez and his military ambitions, particularly if they result in operations in Central America. The bad news is that Chávez is rattling his sabers at the eastern border of Colombia, and some fear a full-scale Latin American war.

The good news is that Costa Rica, despite not having an army, is prepared to repel any kind of military aggression.

The first major problem an invading force from the south will meet are striking Panamanian truckers. Periodically the main southern access route is blocked by unhappy drivers. Sometimes they are joined by the Tico brethren.

Even if the truckers are on vacation, there still is the matter of crossing the boarder. Anyone who has taken the bus north from Panamá knows of the interminable delays at Costa Rican customs and immigration. Just imagine trying to get a whole bunch of invaders and their tanks across the border. How many stamps is that?

But the real secret weapon are the country's roads.
country's roads
Some think that the central government has just been neglectful with the nation's roads. Actually the state of the highways is a secret 
plan to bog down invaders so that the United Nations can thrown paper at them.
soldier and croc
tanks in traffic


Consider the case of a 46-ton AMX-30  battle tank trying to navigate the Interamerican highway. Passenger cars have a hard enough time. The tanks
lost invaders
will just fall off into the jungle.

Then there is the problem of fuel. Some South Americans are used to subsidized 10-cent a gallon motor fuel. Will the military commanders bring
their credit cards to keep the troops moving on $4 a gallon Costa Rican fuel?

Even after surmounting these defensive obstacles and avoiding disaster from wild Costa Rican motorists on the crowded autopistas, the aggressor force will face the reality of a country without street addresses.

Where the heck is Casa Presidencial anyway?

Even a modern military force is not prepared for the local sneak thieves. Invading troops will wake up without their pants, their wallets and their tanks reduced to skeletons, thanks to ladrones and scrap metal crooks.

And if all else fails, the invading troops have to face the well-outfitted, professional commando force based at the Hotel Del Rey.




An A.M. Costa Rica reprint
A.M. Costa Rica Page One
Classified ads
Write us
About us
Contents copyrighted 2008 by Consultantes Río Colorado S.A.  (cédula juridica 3-101-290-170).  Republication without permission is prohibited under U.S. and Costa Rican laws and international conventions.